Jeanne’s Fanny Pack

Jeanne is my Christian, Republican, Disney-land-loving,  fanny pack-wearing friend. She obtained this title by being one of our (Tavor, Lena and I) few friends who regularly attends church, has political views that we can’t talk about, and holds an annual pass to DisneyLand where she goes regularly to supplement her Disney pin collection. She also has a slight obsession with fanny packs…

You see, when normal people meet up to go to a bar or a club, they usually wear a cute dress or some tight jeans or SOMETHING that would make them look hot. Now Jeanne comes in her cute dress or tight jeans, but she also reliably will bring a fanny pack. The fanny pack makes Jeanne…well Jeanne. In it she will pack things like mini bottles of alcohol, her wallet, a pair of gloves (remember this takes place in California) and some pepper spray. We literally live in one of the safest places in the world I should add.

So one fateful day, Jeanne finally explained why she wears fanny packs (beyond the gloves and mace of course).  Apparently guys actually like fanny packs. Why is this you might ask? Because they may think “oh that girl has confidence, she might be retarded. I might be able to get that one.” -Jeanne.  Ahhhhh so this is your angle. And does it work? Absolutely not. But on the bright side, Jeanne will always be the only one at the club rocking a fanny pack and she will always be the hottest fanny pack-wearing lady you’ll ever meet.

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